i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
