I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
