If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i just google imaged poop.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
