Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
