Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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