Fine. I'll sleep in my office
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
