and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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