I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
