On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
