I like to think it a success when the cops are called
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
