i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
