butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
