We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
