Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
