The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
