But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
