My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
