so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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