Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
