Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
