we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
