So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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