we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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