The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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