I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
