Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
