So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Someone signed my nipple.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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