Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
