my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Holy sore nipples Batman
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
