Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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