sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
