just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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