just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
sarcasm needs its own font
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
