So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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