hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
