so that wasnt chicken after all
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
