he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize