lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
this boner is exhausting
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
