going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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