we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
