Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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