Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
