I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
