It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
