the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I could make wine with my vomit
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
