My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
