were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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