Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
