Where did you get a picture of my penis
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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