if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
