I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
